The Apple

‘What do you mean, the apple is poisoned?’

The other officer shrugged.

‘Well, it’s kind of the logical conclusion to come to, isn’t it? I mean, our witnesses say they just came back and she was lying there.’ She pulled out a notepad from her pocket and began to read from it. ‘There were two bites out of the apple, as you can see now, and one had been spat out at the crime scene. We believe it was a murder attempt. I have compiled a list of suspects. We’ve been searching for everyone with a motive against her, and so far, we’ve only found one. She must have been a good person, Ms. White.’ The chief raised an eyebrow.

‘So, let me get this straight. You think it’s poisoned, but forensics can’t actually find any poison.’

‘No sir,’ she replied,’ But Susanne does report an intense feeling of evil when near it.’

Police chief O’Rourke could hardly believe his ears. He was a professional man, and he was under the impression that he was surrounded by professional colleagues but this was just rdiculous. He needed some coffee. He really needed some coffee.

‘It’s evil,’ he said. ‘It’s evil.’


‘It’s an apple.’


‘It’s an evil apple.’ Officer Nathans nodded abd smiled. She didn’t seem to get the point.

‘Yes sir!’ She beamed. ‘My point exactly sir!

It was completely ridiculous. He took a seat so he would not fall over as he stood. No. He refused to believe this.

‘Officer Nathans, we are professionals. Professionals do not believe in evil apples.’  She laughed, an awful, jarring laugh, like an over excited duck.

‘It’s not just an evil apple sir. Evil can’t kill people on it’s own. It’s also poisoned.’

No.’ He said. ‘No, no it isn’t. If it was poisoned, it would have showed up in the forensic tests. This did not. It is therefore, not poisoned. We are not arresting her poor old stepmother on the grounds that Susanne from forensics has indigestion!’


‘No. We are doing nothing. We can do nothing. I refuse to do anything!’

Just as the chief was about to slam his head against the death to escape from the stupidity, the door sammed open to reveal a breathless, and slightly over-excited work experience boy.

‘Sir!’ He panted. ‘It’s Ms. White! She just woke up! Oh, and she’s getting married tomorrow. Something about princes and dwarves?’

Police chief O’Rourke said nothing. There was nothing to be said. One thing was certain. He was going to need something a lot stronger than coffee.

‘Nathans!’ He announced. ‘I hate my life. Pass me the whisky.’

This entry was posted in Clubs, Wednesday Lunchtimes and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The Apple

  1. Rachael M says:

    love the stroy hayley:):D

  2. This may actually be the shortest thing I have ever written.

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