Land of the sneezing mountains

The Creative Writing Club met today for the first time this term and started work on a land suitable for a role playing game. Here’s a taster of today’s insane conversation.

We started with Debbie’s brilliant idea of Sneezing Mountains – but what would make them sneeze? Stella suggested the local residents might be farming pepper, or maybe mining it? (Brilliance, absolute brilliance).

Aaron asked that we include munchkins or minions, but we changed the name to monions (like onions!), which made Gemma ask if the whole of our world was going to be based on food. Just as well it was lunchtime because we all started to get hungry again.

Anyway, if the mountains are sneezing, what does that mean for our minions?

  • does it mean there are very short but very frequent winters? Winters that only last for the time of the latest sneezing fit when the snow falls off?
  • do our wee guys get hurt when the mountains sneeze? Do they fall? Do they bounce? Has evolution or technology assisted them to survive such a dangerous environment?
  • is the white stuff on top of the mountains actually snow? Could it be salt? How would salt affect the environment (which kept us going for a while until Stella pointed out that normal chemical reactions didn’t have to count, given that our fictional landscape is a mountain range with allergies.)

We also thought a bit about Monion culture:

  • do they have gender? If so, how can they tell each other apart? (which led to a discussion about carrying enormous cutlery to identify different roles. Maybe miners carry spoons?)
  • do they have royalty? How did a person get to be king (Suggestion: the person who throws the biggest tantrum)
  • the cutlery might interfere with their hair, so maybe they wear it all to one side? Or maybe they shave one side of their head? Or maybe they have evolved to only have hair on one side of their head and it only grows back when they’re older?
  • weapons: their hair can grow so long that some can use their hair as a whip by flinging their heads around very fast
  • clothes: a truly disgusting suggestion that they cut their long hair and weave it into cloth. Itchy!

Scott also added a special request for a race of giant talking pandas, native to the mountains and speaking in a sort of Morgan Freeman voice. Hayley suggested they be very wise, even the young ones. It was suggested that the Monions could use them for transport even though the Monion don’t realise the Pandas can talk. Fortunately for them, the Pandas love to wander, so the Monion believe them to be just especially dumb at finding the right paths.

Our Monions are an ‘obstacle’ to get past, rather than the protagonists. We haven’t decided on a protagonist yet, but we’re calling him ‘Bob’ on a temporary basis.

So how does ‘Bob’ come into contact with the Monions?

One suggestion is that ‘Bob’ has to cross the Sneezing Mountains for some reason, falls when they sneeze and is rescued by one of the giant talking pandas which takes him to the Monion village for safety. When he wakes up, the Panda is gone so he thinks he’s hallucinated the whole thing and the Monions have rescued him.

Scott also suggested an enormous ‘dig-down’ and Debbie requested a role for the Tap Dancing Irish Sheep.

So much for the first meeting!

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